Family Reunion

I sit among an endless sea of people
Some faces I recognize from long ago
Others I do not remember at all
Then there are those I have never seeen
All of which are complete strangers
Or is it me that is the stranger?

It is not that I do not have courage
that I do not reach out and greet
And it is not that I do not want to
Instead I am constricted by
an old and deep feeling
Of being alien, unknown, and cast out.

A pair of cousins I once spent
so much time with — now silent
An old classmate who married into
the family — more well known than I.
A series of aunts who seem to prefer
to call me John instead of Stephen.

My mind peels back the layers of time
trying to remember what I had done.
I entered into the family as a child
from a home that was broken and bruised
Rare contact from my father’s side.
Abused contact from my mother’s side.

A whole and complete family I longed for
perhaps moreso than anything else
and to have a world opened up to
so many aunts and uncles it would seem
that at last I had found that welcome
among the family of my second father.

Eventually I went into self-imposed exile
Again just a child unsupported
through the weighted burden I carried
Fostered now by strangers
Disconnected with no view of the future
I started a family of my own too early.

Two decades spent away from the family
A young marriage attended by very few
Two births witnessed by only a hanful
Baptisms attended only by the congregation
Divorce splitting the only family known
Children aged to young adulthood

I didn’t know then if Dad’s family
was mine or if I was welcome
Never have I been like my sister
who invites herself in as if
everyone wants her there
When, in fact, they do not.

Thus I sat alone with my widowed mother
and spoke only when spoken to
Just as my grandmother taught me
Separated from my children so far away
Forgotten by my father’s family
Neglected by my mother’s family

Only in song could I reach out
Crooning both sad and lively melodies
Presenting a varied pitch of emotion
Performing so that all can see
That I am not just a silent man
But I am a man to remember.

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About ninefolddragon

I am a self-proclaimed writer, spiritualist, and warrior. My primary writings are poetry and essays that evoke elemental visualization and are written in honor of the sacred feminine.
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15 Responses to Family Reunion

  1. CarissaMarie says:

    So much of this rings true for me and oddly enough, I’m attending a family reunion this coming weekend. I love your last line most, being a man to remember. Though I’ve been the outcast in my own family, I too feel I’m worth remembering. This is such a powerful piece, thank you for sharing this!

    Liked by 1 person

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  3. ~M says:

    Love this…. A very well written glimpse into your life. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Tracy Moore says:

    Very powerful piece. I can relate so much to a lot of what you wrote. Right now, I am in the self imposed exile part with most of my family. Sometimes it just feels better that way.

    Liked by 1 person

    • It’s a little strange as I recognize that sometimes the strongest family is not blood. Yet I’ve always had this desire to be close to my blood relatives. Essentially I have three families that I could have been potentially close to — my father’s, my mother’s, and my stepfather’s.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Tracy Moore says:

        I understand that desire. It’s something I’ve gone back and forth with over the years. It may swing back in the other direction later. Right now I’m just in a distance is better phase. Family is a complicated thing. Fortunately I have a few family member that I’m close to. Guess that makes the lack of closeness with others easier.

        Liked by 1 person

  5. nanny14 says:

    Great honesty coming through that will keep advancing you on your journey and giving voice to others not there yet, seems to me you’ve turned a corner.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Faye says:

    Wow to be able to express this so clearly in what you have written is a strong indicator to me that you have dealt with a lot of issues and are now gradually working towards a future. Family often cannot fill the deepest void in all our lives. You need to find what/Who can fill that space and point you towards becoming the gifted man you were born to be. HOPE in a future better is a powerful goal.

    Liked by 1 person

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