I likely will not be writing “XVIII. Moon” today as my mood is out of sorts today thanks to some recently devastating revelations. I feel that the Moon deserves more reverence than I can give it in my current frame of mind. This likely means that any poems produced today will be borne out of pain and vulnerability. I do not like to dwell in those moments even though the poetry produced is usually quite powerful. While readers enjoy those poems best I enjoy them least.
I purchased a tarot deck which arrives today. It’s the Night Sun Tarot. Overnight I formed in my mind two new spreads that I am hoping to detail and publish over the weekend. Both strongly incorporate my own spiritual values. The first related to the Will and the energetic foundations of the will — the Sacred and Dark Masculine and Feminine. The second will be a ninefold spread that essentially mimics the ninefold style of poetry I developed. I’ll of course test them first before publishing, but I’m looking forward to it.
I am deeply heartbroken today. Over the course of some conversation with a dear friend last night I realized that I have been reacting to that heartbreak in unexpectedly negative ways. I know that I am only human and that is expected to come with the territory, but I have worked hard to avoid certain negative actions that I have engaged in over the years that have direct ties to my bouts with both chronic depression and borderline personality disorder. I do feel, however, that the negative actions do actually show how far I’ve come. There is still room to grow.
Thank you for reading and I hope to share more throughout the day through verse.