A friend of mine posted the featured image to my Facebook page and I found it incredibly insightful. The writer views the world from so many different angles in order to create a fully dynamic story. How can someone who introspects simultaneously to extrospecting possibly be considered sane? This is no insult to myself or my fellow writers, but rather a reminder that we have deep issues that oftentimes go unaddressed.
I recently was hospitalized for my own struggle with depression and anxiety. These two diseases have plagued me throughout my life and have impacted me on every level. I had done fairly well at different stages in my life relying on diet and exercise alone to combat the symptoms of the depression and anxiety, but eventually I would always succumb to the melancholy depths of despair no matter what I did. During these times, which could last between a couple weeks and several years, I would isolate myself from others feeling that my very existence was a burden to my friends and family. Negative self talk would creep in from the shadows of my mind reminding me just how awful I was in comparison to everyone else around me. It was a struggle to leave my home, even for work.
How can one, going through symptoms such as these, ever move forward in life? I can! However, it is infinitely harder to do than to someone who isn’t plagued with these dark thoughts and urges.
I had resisted medication and therapy for so long, as well, that I was much more likely to consider suicide than my fellow sufferers who took their medicine religiously and followed through with a plan consisting of therapy, coping skills, and daily exercise.
I was first hospitalized December 1, 2014. I attempted suicide somewhere around January 25 by swallowing two bottles of pills. I was turned away from the hospital at that time. What followed was several months of financial and emotional difficulty that led to my belief that life just wasn’t worth living. I worked at improving my situation. That included moving into my own place and changing jobs. It didn’t help like I hoped it would. Thus when my depression hit its lowest low again I resisted the urging of my friends to go to the hospital knowing it would be a huge financial blow.
A dear friend of mine started a gofundme campaign to address this. I would like to share this link along with my story so that attention can be called to just how impacting mental health issues can be on our lives. Thank you for reading. Please share.