It has been a while since I posted last. A lot has happened. I don’t mean to understate that either. It is said that “the same wind blows on us all” and that, ultimately, we choose how to steer our own course. For a long time I let the winds blow me wherever they may take me. In many ways that was through my job, my kids, my friends, and my family. Stress took hold and gave me gifts like depression and anxiety.
Many of us deal with those things everyday! Money problems. How am I going to pay rent? How can I support myself? Why can’t I lose weight? How do avoid having my utilities shut off? Who really is there to support me?
I spoke to someone very close to me earlier today and, over the course of the discussion, we came to talk about the different ways in which we dealt with the same ruminations over depression, anxiety, and the urges that follow. She couldn’t see an end to her pain and when she described what it was like I couldn’t help but realize that was exactly where I was at for three years. I told her as much.
“How did you come out of it?”
The answer to that question isn’t as easy as it may sound. Over the course of time eventually we get across the abyss we’ve built for ourselves. The “how” of it can be different for everyone. However there are some things I can guarantee.
- Wake up. Breathe. Repeat. This is the first step. Simple right? It isn’t always simple. Urges come and go and just getting those three things done can be difficult. Waking up and breathing ensures that you have lived one more day.
- Recognize the support system. I’m not saying “use the support system.” Certainly you may. Not everyone wants to lean on their support system when they are ruminating over thoughts of suicide. What we can do, though, is recognize who our supports are. Once you recognize that your brothers, child, mother, friends, church, and school are all people who support you you will find your way to the third and final step.
- Intrinsic value. Intrinsic value is just built in value. We all have it. It’s built in. Just by being born we are given intrinsic value. That value cannot be changed based on what others think of you. If someone hates your guts, they don’t recognize your value. If someone tries to knock you down, they don’t recognize your value. Even if someone builds you up, it is up to you to recognize what part of their support is your own intrinsic value.
That’s it. That is how we step across that abyss and into finally realizing just how important we are.